You see ... i am into a time of my life ... when i really do all my best to control all what is going on ... but always ending up realising i am not really capable of doing it. And ... i become angry. Annoyed. Frustrated. Then unhappy ... sad and always ending up ... being depressed. But ... it's even worse than this ... cause seeing my life becoming a real hell ... i literally lose my minds. Feeling so deeply that i don't really have any real chance to recover ... and heal myself. Unfortunately ... this huge handicap of not being able to create the reality from my silly mind ... becomes into the end ... an advantage. A huge one. So ... i accept that i have no control at all ... on what is actually going on. I also accept that i had become insane. I accept even my stupid annoying inappropriate crazy behaviour ... and ... Well ... not really having what to do ... i just smile ...