Patronized in Philadelphia

I guess I’ve been living under a rock, chompin’ down a cheesesteak because I don’t realize vampires live in Philly until a vampire starts to take an interest in me. Not in a good way. She’s always patronizing me. And then, she turns me just for fun. Yeah, nothing and no one comes between a Philadelphian and his cheesesteak. If I can’t eat food anymore, I’m gonna stake her and see how she likes it.