Lusting for an Older Man: A Fertile First Time Age Gap

(Older Man / Younger Woman Fertile First Time)
He is my complete opposite. Firstly, he's twice my age, and he's wearing a suit. I'm the lead singer in a metal band.
Despite my hard-rock appearance, I'm still innocent. So why am I lusting over this older man?
Why am I begging him to come back to my place?
And why am I telling him to take my first time with no protection?