Better Than Nothing by Stephen Shore

Better Than Nothing

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Are you considering a new relationship? Do you seek the partner who is just right for you—the partner who was made to be with you? One of the most naturally enjoyable experiences in life is to be in a satisfying, romantic relationship. Being part of such a relationship is not only rewarding by itself, but it seems to bestow a sense of social achievement. You've arrived! You've accomplished something that has value in our culture. You're an “insider,” not an “outsider.” But for many reasons, people often find themselves on the outside looking in. They have difficulty developing relationships, or they go from one unsatisfactory relationship to another. At some point, desperation sets in. Unresolved feelings of desperation can lead to panic. And panic can result in a better than nothing relationship. Why do we often think that anything is better than nothing? Why are we so willing to settle? How do we know when something is better than nothing, and something else is not? Certainly, there are many and varied emotional reasons for this attitude, and the sense of urgency that compels us to do something—anything—right now. If you can't identify with the sample of common reasons, below, just fill in your own. “I don't want to grow old alone.” “I want to have children... ...but my biological clock is ticking away.” ...before I'm too old to enjoy them.” “I feel out of place, being alone.” “This may be my last chance. Certainly, no one starts out seeking a better than nothing relationship, but somewhere along the way we settle for less than we deserve. Before you delve into that next new relationship, blindly, I'd like to introduce you to a program that's been developed to help you achieve a quality relationship. This program is entitled BETTER THAN NOTHING because it identifies the signs for someone slipping into a better than nothing relationship. It provides a methodology that enables you to personalize this program and it will aid you in achieving your quality relationship. The first segment of this program introduces the problems and situations that prevent us from forming quality relationships and identifies the solution. In the second segment, we begin to personalize this program: identifying and examining those attitudes that will lead you to accept better than nothing relationships, and recognizing the changes you can make! The third segment provides a simple, enjoyable—yet insightful—method for you to develop and refine a personal inventory (qualities, interests, experiences, needs and wants) with specific examples showing how to develop and refine your uniquely personal profile. As a direct result of this process, in the fourth segment, you will have defined precisely what is important to you in a relationship, and what to look for in a potential partner (whom I define as your “candidate” for a meaningful relationship). The fifth (and final) segment will reinforce the positive self-image you have achieved. If you complete the program, you will have “gone the distance” toward discovering what you want in a relationship. And you'll never settle for something that's “better than nothing.” Goodbye for now. And good relationships for your future!

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